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I had a couple of chins that I was currently talking to and letting hang around, along with saggy breasts and jelly rolls around the middle. Let's face it I was a toad. Especially compared to my best friend Stacy. My God that girl was absolutely gorgeous.Stacy and I met in kindergarten when our moms' started working at the hospital together. Stacy was gorgeous even then, hell she came out that way! But now as an 18 year old woman she was an incredible sight. She was 6'0", hair as blonde as the sunshine, as wavy as the Kansas breeze through the trees, breasts that were absolutely perfect. They were the size of a small pumpkin and oh so perky. And legs that made the phrase Stairway to Heaven seem like a walk around the block. She was every guys dream and believe me they all wanted her. None of them could ever understand why she always hung around the fat frumpy girl. But she made me that aforementioned fat frumpy girl feel beautiful and special no matter what anyone else thought. I. He blinked. Slowly. Like someone who routinely has to blink via conscious thought. A primitive frown of puzzlement sprang to life on his blood-red face and slowly evolved into abject confusion. "I thought this was the Hoistigon place," he rumbled, and I suddenly knew how Roman marble statues tumbling in the drum of a runaway cement truck with a defective power take-off would sound."The Hoistigons live about three counties over that-a-way." I started to point, but I was afraid my quaking hand would imply that I was either terrified or offering to jack him off. Neither indication promised less than a trip to the emergency room--more likely to the city morgue--for me. I nodded vaguely past the escarpment that was his left shoulder, and I wasn't surprised when he twisted to look. With the shifting of his weight the boards of the porch groaned like oarsmen on a slave galley learning the Captain wanted to go water skiing. "My name's Hoisington."He turned slowly back to me, as inexorably as.
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